After a year filled with ups and downs, Joan Bailey isn¡¯t quite where she wants to be for the holidays.

¡°I had hoped that my partner or I could return home to see our families, but it all feels precarious and unpredictable. ... A big part of my heart and head is at home or wants to be at home to celebrate,¡± says Bailey, a university instructor and writer (and occasional contributor to The Japan Times).

¡°The unpredictability of (it) all has been hard,¡± she continues. ¡°If we go, can we get back? Can we even safely celebrate here in Japan with friends?¡±