The most exciting thing to happen at our island¡¯s recent town hall meeting was the delivery of the ¡°Inoshishi Report.¡± The fact that a wild boar chose to become a resident of our island has unsettled the entire human-to-wild-mammal ratio, which used to be 521-to-0 (unless you count stray cats). The actual ¡°Wild Boar Report¡± consisted of just two words ¡ª ¡°Not yet,¡± referring to its anticipated capture in a baited cage.

There are no eyewitnesses of the rumored suid, but a few people¡¯s gardens have been ravaged overnight as if they were all-you-can-eat buffets. The local policeman has dusted for cloven hoof prints and continues to collect evidence.

After the meeting, I went up to the village representative who had delivered the Wild Boar Report and asked, ¡°What are you going to do with the animal once you catch it?¡±